Dealing with Savers and Spenders

Let’s be honest, it is common for couples to fight about money. It is also common to have two financial opposites in the relationship. This pairing provides special challenges, but there are many couples who make it work. It all starts with awareness, first about yourself and second about your partner.
 
Common Financial Goals

It is always a challenge to marry someone else’s habits and expectations. Even two people with similar financial styles will have to work together to find common ground. In my own relationship taking this crucial step has helped bridge the gap between our different money styles. It is easier to sacrifice and save for a goal that you really care about. Saving for the sake of saving is unappealing to a spender, but saving for a concrete goal is more palatable. Everyone has some goal that requires saving to achieve, like buying a new car, a house or retirement. Developing goals together will help you start managing your money together.

No Shame, No Blame

For the sake of your relationship you have to drop all judgment of whether it’s better to be a spender or a saver. There are positives and negatives to each type of person. Savers are good at preparing for the future, but can do so at the expense of living today. Spenders are spontaneous and focus on the present, but can get themselves into debt and be unprepared for emergencies. Embrace the positive aspects in each of you and use it as a starting point for planning.

Set Up a Budget

A budget is not a bad word, it’s an important tool to help you reach your financial goals. When you develop a budget together – and actually stick to it – you can avert many money disagreements. The budget is the place where you address each partner’s needs, your need for the newest electronic gadget and your partner’s need to save for a rainy day. By balancing your differences in the budget you won’t have to fight about these things later.

Allow a Spender to be a Spender

You can’t change a person, you have to work with who they are. Your budget should allow room for a spender to spend, a dedicated fund that they are free to use as they wish. This is not a blank check and obviously won’t work for a compulsive spender who refuses to stick to a budget. But if your spender is willing to play by the rules this idea can prevent a lot of arguments. A separate personal spending account is a great way to separate the funds needed for bills and saving from the “fun” money. Mr. M and I are using this method, he kept his old checking account as his personal fund. As long as it’s not illegal, I don’t care how he uses this money. We are still meeting our savings goals and he is able to satisfy his desire for the latest video games.

Save for Your Common Goals

As part of building your partnership you set common goals, now make sure your budget is addressing those goals. Save for that new car or house, plan that vacation or your children’s college education. A spender may transform into a saver when they see the tangible benefits of saving, like achieving one of these major goals.

Review and Reevaluate

Many financial goals are measured in decades, not just years. It often feels like you are making no progress, but by periodically reviewing where you are and where you are headed it is easier to see how far you have come. Goals will change as you go through life, either as you’ve accomplished them or other more pressing matters appear. Together review the earlier goals that you set and ask, are they still relevant? I recently had to change some of my 2009 goals because they were no longer the smartest financial decision.

With a little planning financial opposites can build a strong partnership. Recognize your differences, play to your individual strengths and come up with goals that you can both work towards.