Cultivate Family

As regular readers know, I have been watching the new advertisement efforts of housing.com  with some interest. And yesterday, I saw two huge billboards with their ads outside the Siddhivinayak Mandir with the togetherness and help theme which provided the stimulus for this post.

Shri Siddhivinayakji is widely believed to be the remover of all obstacles and so worshipped. Ganpati is also believed to be the creator of obstacles in his attempt to keep us on the path we are meant to follow in this life.Failures are hard to live with, I deal with them by believing that its the universe’s way of saying that I am not engaging with the right thing or going about it the right way. So, I  like to start all new ventures with a prayer at this temple for Ganeshji to help me go about things sensibly to attain as much success as I possibly can, in the simplest, swiftest manner possible. And yesterday’s was one another such visit to this temple.

Now,I like to pray in isolation. In a crowded temple such as Siddhivinayak,I can focus my thoughts inwards and isolate myself, as long as I am not accompanied by friends or family. Unfortunately, my mom is firmly of the school that believes that people should not go to temples or set out to engage in any auspicious activity in a group with an odd number of members. So, no way was she going to let me go by myself. Worse, she was already complaining of a backache. And my mom doesn’t believe in suffering in silence, especially when it comes to my company. So, I was slightly put off, knowing I was not going to have my wish for a few seconds of peace communing with the deity.

At the entrance to the temple, I came across the two billboards showing togetherness and assistance. And they got me thinking……My mom may not always let me do what I want to do, my way , without interference, especially if she believes she knows something that is best for me. Often, her behaviour drives me insane and I have not bothered to mince words. But the beauty of the thing is that nothing I have ever done has stopped my mother from doing what she believes to be in my best interest.

In movies, books and ads, positive human relationships are often smooth and free-flowing and the unspoken assumption is that we must break free of all relationships that in any sense constraining. But real families, don’t always behave so nicely.And as long as they are not positively toxic, I have learnt the value of fostering these relationships to form the backbone of my support system.My mom may not always make me ecstatically happy all the time, but no matter what I do,whether putting her through the pain of child-birth, puking on her, forcing her to deal with nappies or now simply mouth -off at her, she is one of the people I can bank on in case of need. And before I focus on her short comings when it comes to serving me, I’d best see if I’d do the same for her, so dedicatedly. And yesterday night, as I practiced gratitude, I had a bazillion things to thank the universe for my mom’s presence. Never, never, never had she ever let me suffer anything by myself, if she was aware of my misery.