Dealing With Family

When it comes to family, it’s always the thoughtful, generous, helpful members who wind up on the losing end. Unfortunately, that will probably never change.Family will come right out and ask for a favour, but offer nothing in return. They’ll expect a brother, sister, or cousin to take time out of their day and do something. If that brother, sister, or cousin doesn’t want to or have time to do it, the family member who asked for the favour gets offended. Yes, that is twisted and wrong and very, very unfair.So what are you supposed to do? Just put your foot down and set some boundaries with your family. If you choose not to do so, you have no one but yourself to blame.

And BTW,if you feel your husband is being taken advantage of by his family,do not be suckered into taking up the cudgels on his behalf with your in-laws.Your husband is an adult and perfectly capable of saying no.Do not allow your husband to duck the responsibility of standing up for himself if he says he doesn’t want to do the things his family asks but at the same time doesn’t want to look like a bad person by not helping them out.Why carry the burden of being branded ‘the witch’ while your husband remains ‘the nice guy’?If you are worried about the use of your joint resources,force your husband to take a stand in the open.You have a right to your husband’s resources and need not hesitate to seek clarity.What is the worst you can hear?-That he doesn’t consider your needs the only or even primary charge on his resources?Its  hard to stomach hearing something like this, but deal with it and you are free to make your own arrangements to have your needs satisfied.And as in all things,time is most important.The earlier you know,the more time you gain.