“I Don’t Want To Hurt You.”
July 31, 2014 Leave a comment
He says: I don’t want to hurt you.
What she understands: He doesn’t want to hurt me because he cares about me so much, which means he didn’t mean it when he hurt me so I’ll forgive him anything.
What he really means: Just to give you some forewarning, I’ll never really mean to hurt you but I will anyway and won’t take any responsibility for it.I don’t connect my actions with the impact on you or the relationship because I tend to only really think about myself and I’m short-term thinker – I think about what I can get now without real thought for the consequences.
If someone doesn’t understand what they did to cause you pain, what is to stop them from repeating the behaviour? A lot of people have relationship patterns which means that they have an awareness of what they are likely to do. They may have ideas to be different ‘this time’ but if they go to the trouble of saying this, it means they’ve resigned themselves to inevitably causing you pain.So move on. Don’t be a sitting duck.There really are much nicer people out there.Give them a chance to be nice to you.
“……..This man is telling you the truth when he says he does not want a girlfriend and a relationship. He is not prepared to be obligated to you or to commit to you. He wants to be able to deflect your questioning of his actions and his whereabouts. If other women come along that he wants to engage with; well he wants to be free to do as he pleases without any valid issue being raised on your part. What his actions are showing you is that he still wants the benefits and comfort of a relationship. He still wants the sex, companionship, and all the other things that a girlfriend provides which makes him feel good when he needs it. He likes the security of having you around and he will always have a fall back as long as he keeps you close. It really is as simple as that. If that man wanted to be in a relationship with you then he would make it happen. Hell some guys don’t even really want a relationship yet they will still lock the woman down to ensure that they get what they want. So if he isn’t prepared to officially make you his girlfriend then his mindset is clear, and you should take this man at his word on this one. 
wealthymatters 