Don’t Average Down
August 2, 2014 Leave a comment
“I Don’t Want To Hurt You.”
July 31, 2014 Leave a comment
He says: I don’t want to hurt you.
What she understands: He doesn’t want to hurt me because he cares about me so much, which means he didn’t mean it when he hurt me so I’ll forgive him anything.
What he really means: Just to give you some forewarning, I’ll never really mean to hurt you but I will anyway and won’t take any responsibility for it.I don’t connect my actions with the impact on you or the relationship because I tend to only really think about myself and I’m short-term thinker – I think about what I can get now without real thought for the consequences.
If someone doesn’t understand what they did to cause you pain, what is to stop them from repeating the behaviour? A lot of people have relationship patterns which means that they have an awareness of what they are likely to do. They may have ideas to be different ‘this time’ but if they go to the trouble of saying this, it means they’ve resigned themselves to inevitably causing you pain.So move on. Don’t be a sitting duck.There really are much nicer people out there.Give them a chance to be nice to you.
Knowledge Doesn’t Mean Skill
July 28, 2014 Leave a comment
Do you remember the story of Grace Groner?If you don’t or are coming in late,here’s the story:Link.
Now compare her story with that of Richard Fuscone. He attended Dartmouth and earned an MBA from the University of Chicago. Rising through the ranks of high finance, Fuscone became Executive Chairman of the Americas at Merrill Lynch. Crain’s once included Fuscone in a “40 under 40” list of successful businesspeople. He retired in 2000 to “pursue personal, charitable interests.” Former Merrill CEO David Komansky praised Fuscone’s “business savvy, leadership skills, sound judgment and personal integrity.”But Fuscone filed for bankruptcy in 2010 — the same year Groner’s fortune was revealed — fighting to prevent foreclosure of his 18,471-square-foot, 11-bathroom, two-pool, two-elevator, seven-car-garage New York mansion. This was after selling another home in Palm Beach following a separate foreclosure. “My background is in the financial-services industry and I have been personally devastated by the financial crisis,” Fuscone’s bankruptcy filing allegedly stated. “I currently have no income.” Read more of this post
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